So I went to a meetup with my old friend and his new girlfriend, and towards the end, he texts me. I was really ready to leave anyway, so I'm thinking, maybe chance for some fun, and I cut out of there. Offer to come over. He says, too much of a mess, what about tomorrow? I say, busy tomorrow until late afternoon/early evening. After some other interplay, turns out that he has a buddy coming over and can't do tomorrow (then why the hell ask?). Then he says, wish he'd known that I was going to be in Rochester. And then we proceed to have pretty boring text conversation, none of which includes that parts that I'm really interested, like I would really like physical contact with an attractive man, and I don't care so much about the rest.
And so I feel less rejected but far more annoyed. What the hell does this guy want? I don't see how many more positive signs I could give him short of telling him to come here and fuck me. Which I suppose I'd be willing to do if it got me what I wanted. But mostly I just feel annoyed and bored. I feel like I've invited him to do things again and again with not much response. I can't work it out. I'm not sure that I even want to. Now that I feel a lot less pissed off and hurt (kind of magically so), I pretty much just want to get back to where I was. Working out. Being motivated to do things. Not being all tied up in this silliness. Maybe I can stay that way?
At any rate, for the moment, I feel like I have my balance back.
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